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Dating for single parents can be a bit tricky. Between managing shared parenting schedules, transporting kids back and forth between little league games and dance recitals, and volunteering for the PTA, there seems to be little to no time for dating. On the occasional weekend when the kids are with the other parent, all most single parents can think about is catching up on some much needed rest and relaxation.
Actually, this sounds like the hectic schedule and life of any parent, single or married! Married couples often have to find time to maintain and develop their relationships. They need quit time away from their children to focus on one another and the marital relationship. This is usually done in the form of “date night,” or some other designated time together for just the two of them. Well the same applies to single parents. Single parents need to make time for themselves and time for them to socialize with other adults. And yes, time to date and possibly find that special someone with whom they want to share their lives.
As an advice columnist, I often receive questions from single parents who feel guilty about taking time for themselves away from their children and find it very difficult to date and find a suitable mate. The top three reasons single parents have difficulty dating are:
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Reason #1 - They do not have the time to date and if they did, they have no clue where to find quality dates.
Solution: There are plenty of places to find quality dates. Single parents should get in the habit of taking time for themselves whether they have a date or not. Take a class, pick up a new hobby. Socialize, hang out with friends, or attend a social or sporting event. All of these social opportunities could lead to meeting someone with similar tastes and interests.
Internet dating is also a possibility for busy individuals. Websites such as Match.com, eHarmony, Christian Mingle are just a few that boast compatibility and other tools to help you select a potential mate.
And never rule out the good old fashioned “blind date.” Family and friends who know you well and that you trust can be excellent resources for helping you find a quality date.
Reason #2 - They find it too difficult to manage past relationships with their ex and a potential new mate.
Solution: Moving on can be difficult, and so can managing past relationships, particularly when there are children involved, but it doesn't have to be difficult. And while everyone cannot be Will and Jada Smith, there should be boundaries and mutual respect between co-parents. Communication is necessary regardless of any bruised feelings and/or history. Co-parents should not interfere with each other's new relationships or try to sabotage the other person's efforts to move on. This means having the children during your time and allowing the other parent their time to spend as they wish. The children should not be used as pawns in an effort to keep the other parent from moving on.
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Reason #3 - They are concerned about their children and introducing them to someone new.
Solution: It goes without saying that children need to be protected at all costs. Their safety and well-being should be top priority. Parents should avoid allowing their dates to pick them up or meet them at their home if the children are at home. Dating should be private until you know that the relationship has potential and a possible future. Only then should you entertain introducing your date to your children. And even then, it should be done with care and respect. It may even be wise to let your co-parent know that you are in a serious relationship and wanting to introduce someone new to the children. As co-parents, you both may need to be there for the children and help deal with any difficulty or issues that can ariseChildren have thoughts and opinions. While they cannot dictate who their parent dates, parents should take their feelings into consideration when making major decisions, especially when the dating relationship turns into a marriage relationship!
As parents （single or married） we want the best for our children. We want them to have good experiences and to grow up happy and well-rounded. Well as parents, we also have to live our own lives and be happy and well rounded. This means taking time for ourselves and LIVING! Single parents need to make time for dating and socializing, but how they date and manage relationships is key!
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